The following blog was written by a clinician at the Counseling Center Group, Sarah Epstein, RC. Sarah is a Resident in Counseling based in Virginia, working with teens and young adults navigating life transitions, anxiety, depression, trauma, and challenges related to self-esteem, identity, and emotional regulation.
Often, we notice pain only when it is visible. We may overlook the internal struggles that others are silently carrying. Some people are grieving, some are struggling in relationships, some are facing financial stress, and others are simply trying to understand their emotions.
It has got me thinking about what the essential competencies are in supporting yourself and others during difficult times. Below are 5 ways to support yourself and ways to support others—a few reminders and practices that have helped me support both myself and the people around me during difficult times.
1. Listen Without Judgment
One of the 5 ways to support yourself and others is to listen without judgement. When we are hurting, one of the most comforting things is having someone simply listen.
Recently, I observed a conversation with loved ones sharing their experiences during a panic attack. Instead of the listener reacting with shock or trying to immediately fix things, they looked at that person and said, “Thank you for sharing that with me. I know it must have been hard to say out loud.”
That response stayed with me.
There was no judgment, disbelief, or dismissal—just acknowledgment and compassion. Because of that, they were able to have a deeper and more meaningful conversation.
Sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is slow down and truly listen. Focus on the story someone is sharing with you. Try to put yourself in their shoes rather than thinking about how to respond.
2. Use Empathy Rather Than Sympathy
When considering 5 ways to support yourself and ways to support others, it’s important to recognize the difference between empathy and sympathy.
I recently watched Dr. Brene Brown explain that empathy fuels connection, while sympathy can sometimes create disconnection.
Empathy means feeling with someone. It can sound like:
“I understand.”
“You’re not alone.”
“I’ve felt that way too.”
When someone is struggling with anxiety, irrational thoughts, grief, or emotional pain, hearing that another person understands can be incredibly healing.
Sympathy, on the other hand, can unintentionally minimize someone’s experience. Statements that begin with “At least…” often leave people feeling unseen or dismissed, even when the intention is good.
People do not always need solutions. Sometimes they simply need a connection.
What helps most is not always the perfect response, but the feeling that someone is sitting beside you in your pain rather than trying to talk you out of it.
3. Create Boundaries for Yourself
There are moments when supporting others can begin to feel emotionally overwhelming, especially when their struggles mirror your own.
It is okay to recognize when you need to step back and recharge.
Taking care of yourself is not selfish—it allows you to show up more fully for others. Spend time doing things that restore your energy. Call someone you trust, move your body, spend time outside, journal, or return to whatever self-care practices help you feel grounded.
You cannot pour from an empty cup.
4. Check In and Stay Connected
No one likes feeling alone or forgotten.
Sometimes the smallest gesture—a text, phone call, or quick check-in—can remind someone that they are cared for and supported.
Reach out to the people in your life. Ask how they are doing. Stay involved in their lives, both during exciting moments and difficult ones. Consistent support and connection can make a bigger impact than we often realize.
5. Pick Up the Phone and Call Them
Many people struggle with responding to messages and that is completely valid. There are moments when a text just does not feel like enough.
Lately, the idea of sending more voice notes and scheduled phone calls seem more beneficial rather than relying solely on texting. There is something powerful about hearing someone’s voice in real time.
A phone call creates presence, connection, and comfort in a way that texts sometimes cannot.
Of course, texting has its place, especially during urgent moments, but hearing someone say “I’m here for you” out loud can instantly make a person feel less alone.
Final Thoughts
These reflections are simply thoughts I have gathered over the past week. It hurts to see others in pain, but there is also something deeply comforting in realizing that many of the struggles we carry are shared human experiences.
No matter where you are or what you are going through, you are not alone. Your thoughts and feelings are valid. Try to give yourself permission to explore why you feel the way you do, and lean into the people who care about you.
There is support, healing, and hope available—even during the hardest moments.
And if no one has reminded you lately: there are people who love you and want the best for you… myself included.
About the Author
Sarah Epstein, RC
Sarah is a Resident in Counseling based in Virginia, working with teens and young adults navigating life transitions, anxiety, depression, trauma, and challenges related to self-esteem, identity, and emotional regulation. ...
